I had just finished reading a book. (Bonds that Set Us Free by C. Terry Warner- in case you want to read it.) There were many, many pages, like over 500. I fell asleep 3 different times trying to finish it. Not because it was boring, it's just long. And after reading it, I discovered one of the most important themes was this phrase: Listen to your conscience and then immediately act on it.
So began the experiment by trying to notice my thoughts. I had to go to the dermatologist for a questionable spot on my face. I noticed the assistant had amazing long, silky, black hair. I couldn't even spot a split end. I thought I should tell her how beautiful her hair was. But then I thought that will sound weird, so I didn't. I mean she has a mirror, she can see for herself how beautiful her hair is. And then I left and it was as I was sitting in the car that I realized I had rationalized that thought away. I had just done exactly what it said in the book that we do. Instead of acting, we immediately rationalize why we shouldn't do it and we lay out some convincing arguments that keep us from doing the right thing. I was a little disappointed in myself.
Next on my list was the grocery store. I only needed a few items... turned out to be 20, but still too many for self check out, which was about 15. So, I had to wait behind a cart that was overflowing. This was really testing my patience. I kept looking at the self checkout lane speed through and wanted to jump in it. But instead I pulled out my phone and read a book while I waited. And then I noticed people got in line behind me because I could overhear their conversation. They liked dropping the F-bomb like every other sentence. Not reveling in the loud conversation, I was grateful when I could finally unload my cart and move away to start the bagging process. But as I bagged, I looked up and a girl about 12 years old was bagging items for the F-bombing women. She looked so innocent and sweet and I couldn't help but notice her hair. Hair again...why does this keep happening to me? Her hair was a copper color with sheens of gold shimmering through it. It really was beautiful. And since I had berated myself for rationalizing not complimenting the last person with great hair, I decided even if it sounded weird I was going to say it. So I say "You have beautiful hair."
She looks up, "What?"
So I try again, " I really like your hair."
Suddenly a bright smile spreads across her face, "Thanks."
It was a simple compliment, but it lit up her face like Christmas morning and it flooded my heart with emotion too. There is something to this acting on good thoughts.
And then later that day, I talked to my mom on the phone and she said, "Something funny happened at the temple today. A male patron stopped and looked at me and then he said, "Who does your hair?"
And she responded, "I do."
And then he said, "It's beautiful!"
She then replayed how she thought about that interaction all day and it made her want to giggle. She said, "That man really made my day!"
Who knew that compliments on hair were going viral that day and who knew what an impact they could have. Giving a compliment is such a simple thing. If you like what they are wearing, or their smile or hair, let them know. It costs you nothing and makes not only them feel great, but you'll feel pretty amazing too.
Good thoughts... turns out we are having them all the time. Take the time to notice and then act instead of rationalizing them away, odds are good you are going to make someone's day, including your own.
