Monday, May 2, 2011

Committed to love and cherish

I watched the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, not live of course, that would be um.... early here in the Pacific time zone. But thankfully- later it was broadcast with 4 minutes of footage followed by 4 minutes of commercials. What was probably a 20 minute event took 1 1/2 hours to get through, but I had a mountain of clothes to fold- so I had the time to persevere through it. (I guess that reveals I'm not a DVR person.:)

Anyway- As I watched this couple make their vows and look lovingly into each other's eyes, it stirred something within me. They vowed to love and to cherish each other all the day's of their lives. They vowed devotion to each other- to have and to hold.... I heard from the commentators of the wedding that Prince William had already stated that "This is it." He and Kate will never divorce, they will weather the ups and downs of marriage together.

It reminded me of the conversation I had with my Dad when I was 19 and days away from being married. "Tina, do you know what you are getting into?" He questioned.

I said "Dad, I know this... I'm committed."

At 19 years old, I understood what the word committed meant, but I had not been tested in the storms of life. We hadn't had children, long work hours, consuming church callings, financial concerns, sickness and distress, exhaustion, tragedies, death and uncertain times. We were like Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden just starting out on the journey with this word commitment in our hearts. I wonder how we would have fared without having that mindset? Having that perspective from the get go has probably made all the difference.

Then there was that promise in the ceremony to love and cherish each other. Those words echoed above the others. Did I promise that? I examined how I was doing on treating my beloved. Love (yep, I still love him... check) Cherish (uh? Cherish- What does that look like?- When we cherish something, we treat it in the most kind manner. We value it and take care of it. No doubt about it, I was falling short in the cherish department. I found many days, I treated my beloved the way I felt I was being treated by him or by the mood I was in. I didn't let the promise to love and cherish govern my daily actions.

Someone reminded me what we were like in the beginning of marriage- we just longed to please each other and take care of each other and then as time went on.. it changed. We stopped looking at what we could do to help the other and started looking at what THEY could do to help us. We started noticing all the things that we did and THEY didn't. And suddenly love was in the balance being weighed and found wanting. Don't let it be found wanting... Be the one who remembers your vows to love and cherish daily and put them into action. Who knows that one little act... may make all the difference.